WORLD SERIES MVP AT 21, ADDICT AT 35, FAMILY MAN AT 60

Welcome And Why Change Matters

SPEAKER_00 0:06

Hi, I'm Kim Alexis. Today in Paris, Patrick Kelly is showing his collection of spring clothes. Hi, I'm Kim Alexis with your ticket to adventures.

SPEAKER_01 0:14

I'm Kim Alexis, and I'm here in New York City, here at Cafe Max with Jeff Oliver Soft. Hi, everyone, I'm Kim Alexis, your trilogy wellness ambassador. Hello, everyone. I'm Kim Alexis, and I'm back this month to share a message about something I've learned throughout my life.

SPEAKER_00 0:30

We've got a great show coming up for you, so stay tuned.

SPEAKER_01 0:36

So I'm here with a Major League Baseball star. Um, you have a lot of different accolades we'll get to a little bit later, but you're also my friend. So welcome, Rhett Sabri.

SPEAKER_02 0:48

Thanks, Kim. It's great to be here. And I'm I'm very proud of you. This is kind of cool what you're doing.

The Tryout That Broke His Ego

SPEAKER_01 0:53

Oh, yeah. Well, it's something new, and why not start something new at 65? All right. So we're here because change is and should be celebrated. And you have had a lot of change in your life. And so I want you to take me back where you were young. Um, I had a son who played baseball, and I watched how he even attended sign autographs because people recognized he was a star. Did people recognize that you were special and did you stand out at a young age?

SPEAKER_02 1:21

Well, yes and no. So I I always tell kids this story because I think it's important to know that uh when you want to become something or be whatever it is in life, you need to work hard at it. And my first year playing in organized baseball, I was eight years old. So back then, now they start like at four years old, and they're just running around catching butterflies and but uh eight years old and um season ended, and I was probably the best kid on the team. We had two two guys on that team. Uh Larry Beinfest was a still still a friend of mine. But um yeah, I after the season was over, I thought I was great. And uh my mom during the off season said, Are you gonna practice? You need to get ready for next year. Yeah, and um I didn't pick up a ball or a bat. I was doing other things. Growing up in Southern California, you're you're outside quite a bit doing other things. So we moved. I had to go to a new league, nobody knew who I was, had to go through tryouts and embarrass myself. So yeah, I uh had like 10 pitches thrown at me, swung and missed, uh, probably nine out of 10, ball went off, uh, booted some ground balls and threw them wild over the first base. By the time uh it was all said and done, I was draft at last. But I went home crying that day. And my mom said, if you want to be successful and if you want to be good at whatever you do in life, you need to work hard at it. So I learned a valuable lesson at a young age. And uh so uh I I did know that it was had some pretty good talent, but it it really happened when I became a uh in high school. So in and when I was going to school and high school in Southern California, Cleveland High School, it was only 10th through 12th grade. We didn't have it. Now it's nine, nine through twelve. And my first year, the scouts were coming out to watch a dear friend of mine, my closest friend Tony Guerrero, and uh they happened to see see me playing, and uh, so that sparked their interest. So in high school, I was being followed by uh some major league scouts and uh universities, and so uh probably that was the biggest time that I knew that I had some kind of baseball talent.

SPEAKER_01 3:28

I was always good at it, but that's my kind of But did you notice that uh okay, they're in the stands, so I have to do this or I have to be that way because you seem like you're cool under pressure.

Scouts, Pressure, And Finding Your Voice

SPEAKER_02 3:41

Well, it's it's weird. I could uh throw in front of 50,000 people, and that's never bothered me getting up in in the big stage with baseball and that. But uh it's taken me a long time to get comfortable um going up and talking in front of people. So that's something that I've had to deal with. So it's strange. Yeah, I can I can get questions and answers. And fortunately, my my BW, uh my beautiful wife has held me with BW talking, uh talking in front of people and getting prepared for the speech or whatever we're we're doing, uh uh wherever we're going and stuff like that. So I feel a lot more comfortable doing it now, but it was very tough for a period of time. And I I don't know what it was. I guess it was just kind of a natural thing that it was my my realm, I guess.

SPEAKER_01 4:25

Okay, but you are a MVP at the World Series to pitch in a World Series and to become an MVP. Obviously, you had to be cool and you're fresher.

SPEAKER_02 4:36

Well, yeah, and again, 21 years old when we won the World Series.

SPEAKER_01 4:39

So I was just I didn't know any better, I don't think you guess it could be good. So go back a little bit. So you were drafted at 19. Take me through that. How was that change in your mind? Because we're talking about change equals strength.

SPEAKER_02 4:54

Right. I uh I came out of high school and I decided not to go to college. I wasn't very great with academics. I uh went to school to socialize and play baseball, and I did those two pretty well, but all the other stuff uh wasn't too great at. Uh but um yeah, it uh drafted, went to uh minor league the first year and uh played in single league, got called up to double A. The next year I got uh as a 19-year-old, I'm in big league spring training camp and uh called me in the office. I was hoping to go to the triple A team and not go back to double A, which I finished up with. And um Dick Howser, the manager at the time, said, We're gonna take you with the big league team. And I was like, okay, that's better than triple A. Exactly. So went to the big leagues that first week uh I turned uh 20 years old April uh 11th and in uh 1984. And so for the first week of big leagues, I was 19 years old. So I I like to talk to again, going back to the kids who I talked to younger uh people coming up uh pondo aspiring baseball and let them know that uh yeah, at 19 years old, I was throwing a baseball in the big leagues. Honestly, the the big part when I came to the big leagues and it was uh our our first practice that we had before the season started, right? My biggest awe moment was walking from the clubhouse. Well, actually, first coming into the clubhouse, the big league clubhouse, um, and then going from the clubhouse to the field and just seeing that cathedral of Kansas City and before our first game. But uh yeah, it uh it happened very fast.

SPEAKER_01 6:26

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 6:26

Uh we went to the playoffs that year in 1984 and lost to the Detroit Tigers. I ended up winning the World Series. And the next year we came back and had the same nucleus of guys and just put it all together. And um, yeah, I I was fortunate. I had uh uh Mark Gubaz who came up with me, and he was 21 at the time. So that was kind of my person that I hung out with because we had some older guys, some veteran guys, and we all don't get me wrong, we all hung out together in that. But Mark and I were kind of the inseparable. We lived together, we shared uh an apartment. Uh well, we can go into a little with George for a period of time, but uh yeah, George finally had to kick us out, George Brett, um, because uh he I was the crazy one. Uh you were the crazy one. Well, I was using I was going into his wardrobe, taking his shirts, I was driving his car, was helping myself to whatever was in the refrigerator along with the Dom Perrion. You weren't stocking things? Yeah, no. Uh number 21. So and uh Gooby, on the other hand, the Philly boy, uh, he uh sat back and wouldn't say anything. And then after back then there was no cell phone. So after about three weeks of being there, we lived with him for the first month. He said, George, is all right if I use your phone? I said, Yeah, cool, go ahead, use it anytime you want. And anything else he has. Oh, how funny.

SPEAKER_01 7:42

Yes, and George lives here.

SPEAKER_02 7:44

Yes, yes, yeah, he's here quite a bit of the year as well.

World Series Highs And Family Support

SPEAKER_01 7:49

Okay, so the World Series. I mean, just to understand the inside of your head, I don't know what a ton about baseball. I was a baseball mom and my son did pitch. My youngest Noah pitched a little bit. I remember I was so superstitious, by the way. So if he was pitching well and I just gone to the bathroom, I'm like, I can't move from the spot. And like, wait a minute, I am not superstitious. I'm a Christian. Like so I was like, what is wrong with me? But you know, you you're I'm sure your parents were great parents and went to all your games, and that support must have been great for you. Well, my mom, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 8:20

So, dad, we can talk about that a little bit too, towards uh talking about uh the the the family stuff. But uh I know uh we we mentioned talked about that before we got on the air, but um, yes, my mom was uh a crazy one. She uh Christian crazy good, yeah. She um uh she was a uh uh the president of the men's board um uh for our little league team. She umpired and um she actually kicked somebody out of the stands for uh for yelling at her. Uh she uh she used four-letter words like uh it was nobody's oh yes, uh truck driver. Uh no, she wasn't a truck driver, but that's uh the mouse she had.

SPEAKER_01 8:59

But yes.

SPEAKER_02 9:00

Um, but uh I guess very, very proud mom. Um I I know later on in life she could tell people that she knew that I was gonna be a big leader from early on and is like, Molly, I don't think uh anybody knows that their son or daughter is gonna go on to play professional of whatever it might be. So um, but uh yeah, she was she was very proud of of what I did. And I uh the one thing that she would always yell, she didn't know a whole lot about pitching. Fortunately, I was around some really good coaches at a young age, and they gave me uh good fundamentals. Um, but uh the one thing I could hear in any stadium if uh if I'd throw a ball or if something happened, I could be all the go-to was bend your back. So you could hear that from the stands. Um what did that mean? That just followed through, I guess. But she it was just her way of letting me know that you know I'm maybe need to get my crap together or something.

SPEAKER_01 9:56

Oh, how funny?

SPEAKER_02 9:57

She's just coaching you for this. My sons would have been horrified if I did anything. Yeah, but like you I remember her saying she was never really nervous, she always felt like I had the ability to to to do well in a game. Now, me on the other hand, of being a dad and watching watching my boys and uh kids and uh going through baseball, football, and all that stuff, I would get very nervous for them. I wanted them to do well, and you you always want your kids to do well, perform well. Uh oh, you know, the last thing you want them to do is come home uh with uh well uh with tears or and being dejected because it does, it really does. And that's that's that's what motivated me was if I was winning and I was pitching well and I win a few games in a row, it would be tough for me to motivate myself to go in the weight room and do a little extra or run a little extra. Um, but when I struggled and I got my tail kicked right a few times in a row, um, I worked even harder. I so that was that it knocked me down, and I'm gonna show you that when you get back up. I always said that I'd never been in a fight, but if I was in a fight in the bar with the biggest guy, probably get my butt kicked. But I promise you you wouldn't want to fight me again. That's right. Yeah.

Cy Young Years And Baseball’s Numbers Era

SPEAKER_01 11:12

I could dance about fire. Yeah. Oh, how funny. But I think that mindset is what keeps you, what kept you going, and that kept me going in my business. Yeah. And so we have this great career. You had this wonderful career, and so you you have two Cy Young awards. I was interested reading your bio. It said you did well in the odd years, yeah, so well, even I'm sure people brought that up.

SPEAKER_02 11:39

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 11:39

So Csai Young at 85 and 89.

SPEAKER_02 11:42

Yes. Yeah, yeah. Um, I yeah, I guess I'm an oddball. I don't know. Um, but what uh the way I looked at, especially the first few years, is that the first year I came up as a rookie. Um, I had a 10 and 11 um uh record and decent ERA. What is a 10 and 11 record? So 10 wins, 11 losses. Okay, yeah. And then uh the second year I I actually won the Cyana won 20 games. So the the third year coming in, I wanted to prove to everybody that I was worthy and I was that guy that just did what he did that follow of the previous year and uh came out too soon to uh throw in the ball too hard and shoulder wasn't ready. So I had some injuries that year, and then followed up with another good year in '87, and then the next year, a few little injuries, and uh not uh the greatest year. So it just seemed like it was every other year that you could rely on me. So if you had me on a fantasy team, you'd probably want me in the uh odd years and not the even years.

SPEAKER_01 12:39

So I can't I have a hard enough time with fantasy football. I cannot imagine fantasy baseball. A lot of games, yeah. I said, Yeah, plus it was a lot of players and a lot of how many pitchers are on a team, Raleigh.

SPEAKER_02 12:50

Well, oh when I was playing, it was uh it's like 10, sometimes 11. And now I think it might be even more. It seems like they bring them in out of the bullpen left and right, so I'm not sure what they carry on a team now.

SPEAKER_01 13:02

Great. Is there a may a number where you can only have so many on a team like football? 25 players. Okay. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 13:09

25 man roster. Uh but uh yeah, it's uh you can kind of have uh some more position players or more pitchers, so it just depends on what the team needs and what the manager sees.

SPEAKER_01 13:22

So would you be in a bullpen? I I mean, because I o I watch the World Series and there's so much strategy, not only skill, and she had, of course, but strategy for the coach. When do you put in a player? When do you pull them? Would you sit on the bench and say, oh man, put me in and I'm gonna like smoke them and I need to go in now? Or did you just wait for things to happen? Like, if you put me in, you find. If not, we'll still win the World Series. How's that go?

SPEAKER_02 13:51

So uh with what we had, I would I was in the bullpen a little bit, but I was more of a starter. So I had a regiment that I knew I was gonna pitch every fourth day or fifth day. So I kind of had an idea. But every once in a while, if the team struggled in that, and in between starts, we might come in and and go to the bullpen and eat up some minis. Uh like who need yeah, yeah, anytime, yeah. Instead of sitting on the bench for that that long period of time. But um, yeah, it's it's it's uh now the game has changed, and and the way I say the game has changed is because analytics has come in and taken over. So now you don't like you were saying, it's like you know, back when I was playing, uh you you manage and you cush with your eyes and you could see if a guy was struggling, right? Or if somebody was wasn't doing what they normally do. And nowadays it's like they look at their their book and it says, Oh, okay, uh, he's faced the lineup three times, so it's time to take him out. But they don't even give him a chance. And uh so they're they're looking for you know real uh spin spin rotation and uh velocity and so many other things where uh when I was pitching, it was I I knew where I wanted to throw the ball and I knew how to pitch different hitters, and I was on the same page with the the catcher, and so and again we did some recon, you know, for when a team would come in, we'd have a study.

SPEAKER_01 15:13

Yeah, we would study the team kind of like if I hit it or pitch close to him, he's gonna back off.

SPEAKER_02 15:18

Yeah, and so yeah, if you want the outside part of the plate, you gotta throw inside because otherwise you can just lean over it, hit the outside part of the plate. So a lot of strategy comes into it, but nowadays it's just changed quite a bit with the analytics. And I think uh the Rockies um actually uh have one of the first uh managers that is uh an analytics guy that uh never played played professional baseball and he's in there and he's uh you know doing the managing, and so he'll he'll manage according to what uh what the good book says. Wow.

Mound Visits And A George Brett Wakeup

SPEAKER_01 15:51

So my son, when he would get freaked out on the mound, the coach would come up and he'd sometimes like just talk about the weather something because my so what was the funniest thing when you're on the mound and you see them, you know, time out or whatever they do, and they come up. Did they ever talk to you about the most bizarre things instead of baseball? Like to to loosen you up, or were you just a cool cucumber?

SPEAKER_02 16:13

Well, again, I I I wanted um I was one of those players that wanted to be kicked in the pants a little bit, you know, like we were talking about I get knocked down and I wanted, you know, come back and really show that uh I I can do whatever I need to do. Um, so I would mainly when the the the pitching coach comes out to talk to you. When it's the manager, he's usually got his hand out, it's like, give me the ball, you're done.

SPEAKER_01 16:37

Right.

SPEAKER_02 16:37

Um, but when the pitching coach comes out, he's usually probably talking about the situation where we have the hitters and what we want to do with this particular hitter that's coming up that you're facing. Um maybe you're wanting to try to get uh a jam shot and a pop-up, want to get a strike out of this situation, trying to get a ground ball for a double play. So pitching coach would come out and talk to you about that and just remind you about what he is he's hitting and what he's not hitting at at that point in time in the season, because some some players go through some uh uh uh slots throughout the season. So it's it's just a reminder of what we really want to do with this particular hitter, or maybe pitch around him and worry about the guy that's on deck. So there's a lot of things that the but no, George George came up to me one game, and uh again, George Brett, he was playing third base and it was a later part of the game. And um two to one game, and a couple guys on, and he came in and kind of gave me a little ass chewing basically. He said, uh, you know, if you want the bullpen to come in and screw up everything that you've done up until this time, then just keep throwing the way you are, otherwise get your crap together and let's get these guys out. So that's that was more the the the talk that I needed is I kind of beared out and get your stuff together.

SPEAKER_01 17:50

Oh, that's cool. So how do you progress in your baseball? Up of course, injuries start to come into play. So how how do you handle that in your mind? So here you have this great career, you have all these wonderful rewards. People are expecting a lot, you're expecting a lot from yourself, it sounds like so what would happen when you would get did you because you can't push through some of these things, right? You're injured and sometimes you have to back off.

SPEAKER_02 18:22

Oh, I tried.

unknown 18:23

Yeah.

Injuries, Rehab, And The Cost Of Playing

SPEAKER_02 18:24

Um, I did um, well, again, rehab started early on in my career in in 1986, my I uh third year pliing, um, and uh tendonitis in the shoulder. So yeah, you know, you you take uh some prednisone, you know, you're doing anti-inflammatories to get the the stuff out of the shoulder. Or I had uh uh a knee, a meniscus torn uh when I was with the Mets. Um so it really depended on that. But after I had my second shoulder surgery in the in the big leagues, I relied on prednisone. I was I was eating and like it was candy. So and I would actually just get up my own bottle and you have to start off with a high dose when you wean yourself off. And then it really it helped my shoulder. Again, wouldn't recommend that for anybody to do. Um, but I felt like if I wasn't out on the field, I was letting my team down. So I wanted to do whatever I I could to be out on the field, and that was I I don't know how many quarter zone shots I got and my shoulder to get out there and pitch. So if it was, yeah, it was it was a lot of wear and tear on on the shoulder, especially. But uh I would do whatever it it took. So, you know, when I had my first shoulder surgery, I spent the whole entire winter in in Colorado um like 12 hours a day, just just rehabbing.

SPEAKER_01 19:43

Uh and were you married with kids then?

SPEAKER_02 19:45

Uh no. No, I had kids, but wasn't married. Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_01 19:48

So when did you learn that or was it apparent to you that you needed to retire? Or did you learn from your coaches, like, hey, you better hand the ball over?

SPEAKER_02 20:00

Yeah, no. Fortunately for me, uh, I think it would have been hard for me to walk away from the game if somebody said that I couldn't do it anymore because I wasn't good enough. Um so I would say fortunately for me, uh my body let me know. So after my third surgery, I missed uh shoulder surgery in uh the winter of 1999, I missed all of 2000. Uh came back in June of uh 20 uh oh one uh and pitched uh the first game beginning of June. Arm hurt a little bit, the second game it hurt a little more. Third game, I just couldn't stand it. I wanted to chew my arm off. So went down to uh Florida to rehab it. It was the last year of my contract. Um I rehabbed down there. If uh if I had another year of my contract, I probably would have done some more rehab to see if I could have got back. But it was just too much pain, too much uh anti-inflammatories taking and living on them. And uh so it made it easy for me to walk away from the game because I physically couldn't do it anymore. My arm wouldn't let me.

SPEAKER_01 20:57

And you didn't read like the newspapers where they were like, oh, Saber Hagen, he's this and that, right? That did that play any part into anything?

SPEAKER_02 21:07

No, no, and um you know I still still look back. It's funny. I I never even uh watched the World Series until Candace and I sat down uh uh uh I don't know, a few years ago and she says, I've never seen the World Series. And I said, Well, that's that's put it on because I've never seen it either, other than the highlights. So that was kind of cool. But no, there wasn't any big big media stuff, you know. No uh you know, no final tour saying goodbye. Um again, I had I had a uh I feel like I put the uniform on one day longer than I would ever expect it to. So I was very proud of of what I did. Um the accolades were great, but winning a World Series is always still near and dear to my heart. If people ask what's your favorite moment in baseball, you know, with all the stuff that you have achieved and it's winning a world series. You can't take That uh for granted because uh at 21 years old.

SPEAKER_01 22:05

The MVP?

SPEAKER_02 22:05

Yeah, that was very cool.

SPEAKER_01 22:06

You don't flash your ring around. Why don't you wear your ring?

SPEAKER_02 22:10

Well, first off, that was I was 21, it doesn't fit anymore.

SPEAKER_01 22:12

But yeah, sized you have to go flash it around.

Retirement, Divorce, And Choosing Dad Life

SPEAKER_02 22:15

Anyways, uh it was it was uh uh just an amazing time, and uh you know I I feel very blessed, you know, that uh I was able to do that.

SPEAKER_01 22:25

Um so as you're laying in bed and you're saying, you know what, my arm can't handle this anymore, are you thinking I have this to fall back on, I could do this, or were you just gonna be a dad and just it was a dad thing.

SPEAKER_02 22:40

I was living in New York and um ended up getting divorced um uh from uh who I was married to at the time, and I wasn't gonna live in New York and have uh three three of the older kids living in California. Um and I said I'm gonna I'm gonna go back. I don't want to can't start a new family. I don't even not a I've been playing baseball. I'm gone all the time. So uh, you know, you miss all of those, you know, birthdays and first of so many. And so I wanted to be a part of their life. So I went back to California and uh was part of uh the older three uh kids and really enjoyed them.

SPEAKER_01 23:14

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SPEAKER_02 23:48

No, no, it had nothing to do with that. It was uh I know wives that are like that.

SPEAKER_01 23:53

Yeah, right.

Coaching Teens And Setting Hard Truths

SPEAKER_02 23:54

No, no, it uh it had more to do with with me, and um my family was always kind of put on the lower shelf, and her she had a big Italian Italian family, and it was always a kind of more about her family and spending holidays there and doing stuff. Of course, the kids would come in and uh spend some time um with us, you know, throughout the year. Um, but I really wanted to be a big part of their life and not uh not a little sliver. So did you coach them? I did. I I ended up coaching uh for a couple of years.

SPEAKER_01 24:22

Uh in that wasn't for you or the parents ran me out.

SPEAKER_02 24:25

Uh is that crazy? Yeah, the aspect of coaching I was I I was so so excited about. But it turned out to be about 10% of what I did because I was in charge of three teams at the high school. Um so uh the the varsity, the JV, and the the freshman team uh had to get coaches, had to try to get them paid because the uh the stipend for coaching is like$2,000 for the year. Ordering uniforms, ordering baseballs, maintaining the field, dealing with the parents, making sure the grades are all right, uh putting out any fires. So really 10% of what I was doing was coaching. And uh it just uh you needed an assistant. But yeah, but the parents, I mean, I've crazy. Every one of them was going division one are gonna be a professional. And I I love telling the story because they would come up and say, Can coach, can you write me uh, you know, uh a letter of recommendation? It's like I can write you a letter. I'll write anybody a letter of recommendation. Now, depending on where you're going, if you think you're going to a division one and you're not a division one, it's my reputation on the line. So just know that if whoever you're sending this letter to, I'm gonna tell the true story about you. So it's I'm not gonna sugarcoat, oh, this kid's the best, and you need to have him in your program where you know he's cutting class and he's a you know, not a good teammate, and he's not the greatest talent. So um, I didn't have too many kids asking me for recommendations. That's smart.

SPEAKER_01 25:50

That's smart.

SPEAKER_02 25:51

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 25:52

So after that, then you when did you meet Candace, your wonderful current wife? Yes.

SPEAKER_02 25:59

Uh Candace and I um uh I God did an amazing thing and put us together because I think we both needed each other at the right time. We met in 2018 and um yeah, we met at a at a charity event, uh, actually. So she was one of the the the sponsors for the the event um when she was uh doing her uh uh her profession um in the medical field. And um I uh was there as uh you know uh one of the celebrities, you know, saying hello and playing golf. Doing playing some golf playing some golf. And um actually our friends were were trying to put us together for a period of time. And we were in the same building at multiple times, birthday and that, and but we never were physically introduced. So uh coming back from this particular charity event um in uh in May of 2018, is that correct? Um so uh we were coming back on a friend's plane. I was going to Kansas City and she was going back to Colorado with them, but they were dropping me in Kansas City. So we hit it off in the lobby. Um, and um we sat on the plane next to each other and just kept chit, chatting. And um, I kind of wish I would have gone back to Colorado at that time, but um, she agreed to see me again. And uh uh so uh yeah, it was kind of uh I would say love at first sight. And it was just the chemistry that we had. It was it was beautiful.

SPEAKER_01 27:23

Yeah. How long after did you get married?

SPEAKER_02 27:25

Uh it was like seven months-ish.

SPEAKER_01 27:28

Oh, there you go. That's kind of like my husband and I took it.

SPEAKER_02 27:31

Eight months.

SPEAKER_01 27:32

Eight months.

SPEAKER_02 27:33

I was close, right? We got married uh February 16th. You know, with me with dates and all that stuff. So it's close to Valentine's Day, worked out perfect. So when the Valentine's comes around, I can always remember it's our our anniversary.

SPEAKER_01 27:46

So that's seven beautiful years. That's good. That's good. But you're pretty good with stats. It's amazing how you baseball guys with all your numbers and your stats.

Meeting Candace And Building Sabes Wings

SPEAKER_02 27:54

It's yeah, it's it's it's fun. It's fun at times. Yes.

SPEAKER_01 27:58

So now again, you have another change because you and Candace run something called Sabes Wings. So talk to me about the wonderful charity that I've gotten to go and be can a contributor of.

SPEAKER_02 28:09

Well, thank you again for for being a part of Sabes Wings now and uh being uh the uh fashion uh uh Yeah, we have a fashion show and I MC the fashion show. That was amazing, and you're coming back this year.

SPEAKER_01 28:20

Yes, I am perfect.

SPEAKER_02 28:22

So um we um uh went through an experience with Candace. So before we got married, she was coming to Chicago to break up with me. Um we were dating and um she was diagnosed for the third time, so uh breast cancer. So um it was uh it was a tough, tough day and tough night uh when she showed up. And um um so the next day uh we uh we went and got some coffee, that's so to speak, coffee. Actually we're going to the diamond district to get a ring. So um so I proposed to her the the day after she said that she's going through her cancer. I said, You're not going through this by yourself. So um got married sh shortly after. Um, but uh the treatment uh for her third diagnosis didn't work, so we uh we did alternative medication, which got out of pocket cost um$22,000 a month. We were able to afford it. But I had a nonprofit that was geared towards youth and it was kind of dormant, wasn't doing a whole lot. She approached me as she was going through her chemo treatments and that she says, I would love to to change um your nonprofit and the mission um to help me and the name Sabes Wings. And uh so Sabes is my nickname, and then the wings are those wings that lift you uh lift you up um and lift her up off the bathroom floor. She's handing me a clump of hair um and can't get up. Uh so those are those are the wings that are helping people up. But it's it's geared towards people that have cancer. It doesn't matter what type of cancer. Um if you're uh can't can't afford your treatments, um if you're paying for treatments and um you're not paying your utilities or your rent, um we come in and try to alleviate as much debt as possible. And we've helped families in 23 states. So I truly feel like I was blessed because we've really it's been an amazing ride for the six years. This was our sixth year this last year. Um we've come a long way in six years, but I truly believe that I was put on this planet not to play baseball, but to have that platform to do what we're doing now, to make awareness and uh to help these families. And um, it's it's it's a 365-day out-of-the-year mission that we're doing. And uh, you know, you're coming to a dinner, you and uh Jeff are coming to the dinner uh that we're doing in in in Phoenix, or actually in Scottsdale uh coming up uh uh this month, this next month. And so we're uh all over the place. We've got one in Dallas. Um we've just started uh um a new collaboration with uh the Western world. We're uh part of a roping uh that's gonna happen in uh uh well actually it's it is Paso. It's uh at a friend's ranch at 60 acres, and he's got the arena and everything. So I would think you'd be good at roping. I'm no no no no. I'm gonna be on the side. Come on, I'm sure your shoulder can be in the one that's everything. That's all I need. Yes. My feet are happy on the ground. I might take a picture up on the horse, and you know, yeah. But so yeah, no, so that's kind of cool, you know, and they want to give all the proceeds to to us. So it's gonna be a a two-day event Friday and Saturday, June 5th and 6th, and in Paso. Uh so we keep we keep very busy, but um there the need out there, so we're we're fundraising all the time and yeah, trying to help all these families. But um, yeah, there's not a day that goes by that um uh we're not crying about somebody or something. We've we've lost three people this month. I know I met one, I remember meeting one. Yes, yeah, Shannon. And uh so her celebration of life is on Sunday. And uh so we're fly back uh uh Saturday night. But um yeah, it's just it's it's tough at times. I like I said, I I've cried in the uh I I've be I've learned to be vulnerable and I've I've cried more in the last five years than I did the first 50 uh six on this planet. It's uh as you can see, I kind of uh wearing my uh emotions on my sleeve a lot more now.

SPEAKER_01 32:16

Right. I I find it that endearing in a man.

SPEAKER_02 32:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 32:20

And I think more women than you could imagine as a man are finding it much. It's a it's a form of strength to be able to have that compassion. Yeah. And my husband is the same way, and I said I married him because he does cry.

SPEAKER_02 32:35

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 32:35

Because that's it's a wonderful thing.

SPEAKER_02 32:37

Yeah, I always held my emotions in, and um, yeah, I've I I've and again You might not have wanted to cry on the mound. No, no, no. There's no crying in baseball.

Advice For Kids Chasing Big Dreams

SPEAKER_01 32:47

No, no, yeah, that would have been bad. Yes, yeah. So I love uh you have messages like I do for young people. And since only a half a percent of your young kids are ever gonna get into the major leagues, um what thoughts would you have about these young kids and where should they put their effort?

SPEAKER_02 33:13

I always just say follow your dream, whatever your dream is. If it's baseball and being a professional, follow it. Um work as hard as you can. If it happens, great. You know, it's uh there's only been a little over 20,000 uh big league players that have put on a big league uniform. That if you think about it, how long baseball's been around, that's a small number. So it's very tough. You you might get to professional baseball, but to actually put on a major league uniform, it takes a lot of work, uh a lot of dedication. And I think everybody out there knows that if you want to be successful, you gotta work at it. I mean, if if if you're not putting the the time and effort in, you could be average. Um, and that's all right. It's all right. But um it really comes down to what you want to what you want to do and where you want to be. So I say follow your dreams, but you got to put in the effort. You can't just, you know, cross your fingers and hope, hope that happens. So time and effort. Um they say 10,000 reps will will get you there. Um so yeah.

SPEAKER_01 34:10

Not modeling. That's funny. Don't lose the yeah. There's a difference between your sport and mine's not a sport, but yeah.

SPEAKER_02 34:18

Yeah, but I'm still jealous. Six six sports illustrated covers?

SPEAKER_01 34:21

It's not the covers. I was just in the issues, but everyone thinks I was on the cover.

SPEAKER_02 34:25

So were you were you ever on one of the covers then?

SPEAKER_01 34:28

No, I was on the calendars, but not on the covers.

SPEAKER_02 34:30

Okay. Well, still that's impressive. I've only been in one, so yeah. When I was on on the cover, but it was all of us on the mound surrounded after the last of the world series. That's not even there somewhere.

SPEAKER_01 34:41

Yeah. Ours was like, here I am.

SPEAKER_02 34:43

Yes, yes, yes.

SPEAKER_01 34:46

So you recently had a surprise.

SPEAKER_02 34:48

Uh yes.

SPEAKER_01 34:50

And can you talk about all of a sudden you found out you had a sister that you didn't know about? Yeah. And that circles back to your dad, I'm sure, right?

SPEAKER_02 34:58

It does. So my dad um was never around my mom. We chased him from Illinois out to California. Um, he was gonna make it out, make it in California big, and this was in the late 60s. And so we moved out here. Um, they never really got along. She uh she got pregnant at 16 years old, had me at 17, living with my grandparents. Wow. Yeah. So we came out here to, she tried to make it a family. Um, he was never around. Um uh wouldn't show up for uh birthdays and stuff. So they ended up getting divorced when shortly after we moved out here. So mom was working multiple jobs and he would show up periodically. Um he looked like Bert Reynolds. I don't look anything like Burt Reynolds.

SPEAKER_01 35:42

Uh Did you feel like you had to protect her at a young age?

SPEAKER_02 35:46

How boys protect their lash key kid, so I I, you know, would come home after school, uh, get food, let myself in. Um yeah, I uh there's some things that I shouldn't have been doing at young ages because I didn't have uh the parent guidance around.

SPEAKER_01 36:01

But um You had a guardian angel somewhere. I did.

SPEAKER_02 36:04

I I truly, truly been blessed. Um but uh yeah, so fast forward, um I uh uh uh Candace gets me a a um uh uh 23andme to do a DNA.

SPEAKER_01 36:18

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_02 36:19

Um and again more for medical history and stuff like that and see see where everybody's at. And um lo and behold, that uh the Saberhagen name doesn't show up and it has uh a lot of German in it. Um and uh so I go back to my mom um after I get my my DNA's back and said, What's this 50 something percent German? And she kind of paused and for about a good 30, 40 seconds, and uh uh she uh said don't tell the effing kids, but uh when uh you're when I was dating your dad when I got pregnant, um he was cheating on me, and so I cheated on him with his best friend. So I tracked down David Keeter, who she was slept with. So I tracked down David Keeter. His he says, No, I never slept with your mom. It's like okay, so come to find out his son is uh living in Colorado and we're we're there. So we go do doing DNA swipe on the door, no, comes back negative. And I so I start thinking to myself, well, maybe he's not really his son, and I'm his son, and maybe, you know, I don't know. So I just kind of let it go. Um, and uh a bunch of years later, my mom actually passes away. Um, and uh I decide to do another DNA test because uh on his deathbed um he told one of his relatives that I did sleep with. Well, you let Brett know that I did sleep with his mom. So that strikes in to do Ancestry. So when I do ancestry, um, it comes back uh all these matches, and some of them are out of Ohio, and I didn't have any ties that I knew of in Ohio. And so just kind of let that one go and that and didn't really follow up on stuff. And then Thanksgiving four years ago, um, I uh I get a uh a message through social media um and uh saying that uh if you want to know who your father is, I can give you some more information.

SPEAKER_01 38:14

Wow. So uh yeah.

SPEAKER_02 38:16

So needless to say, after Thanksgiving, uh the day after Thanksgiving, I I make a phone call and come to find out it's my aunt that I matched um with. Uh and then um the 94% that I matched with was my sister. And um that you didn't know you had that I didn't know I had. I was an only child for 58 years. And so did she know you existed? She well, so um my biological dad, um, who I've never met, but he uh had a uh got his high school girl friend pregnant. They gave the baby up for adoption. So my sister had been looking for the brother for all this time. So when I talked to my aunt, it was a situation where she thought I was the one that was given up for adoption. It was like, no, because all the stuff ties to my mom and her name and stuff and family. So I was an added bonus. So there's another brother out there. If anybody's listening wants to, if they're 64 years, 63 years old, could be related to me.

SPEAKER_01 39:17

All right. So you hear that?

SPEAKER_02 39:18

Anyone who's but so yeah, so um uh I talked to her and find out that I have a brother and I have a sister. And um uh I I'm talking to Candace and I I said, you know what? Um, I really hope that they like me for who I am, not what I did. Oh you know, and uh so it was funny because uh my brothers pretty much said the same thing when she he he found out through my sister that uh they found uh a brother, but it's not the brother they were looking for. And he said, Well, where does he live? And she said, California. And he goes, Well, good. If he needs something, he won't become knocking on my door. So we were both on the same page. We get along great, we spend some time together. We do, yes, look a lot like my dad. Um, my my dad passed away at 28 years old, died on the golf course, got struck by lightning at 28 years old, wasn't supposed to be there. We shared the same birthday, April 11th. Wow. There's some crazy, crazy things. Yeah, there's more to it. And a lot of it's a lot of the stuff we just talked about is in my autobiography that's coming out.

SPEAKER_01 40:20

Okay, yeah, it's gonna promote that.

SPEAKER_02 40:22

So that'll be coming out uh within months or so. Um and what's the name?

SPEAKER_01 40:27

What's the title?

SPEAKER_02 40:27

We don't have that. I we're we're still throwing around. Oh, how fun.

SPEAKER_01 40:31

I want to be involved in that.

Sobriety, Vulnerability, And The Legacy Question

SPEAKER_02 40:33

Because a lot of it is who I am now compared to who I was then, and finding out, you know, I'm not a Saber Hagen, I should be a spooler. And so uh kind of leaning towards who am I. Uh there's there's all kinds of different different titles. We want to use something that's a little bit more unique that uh isn't because there's there's a lot of them out there. Um curveball, you know, that could be one of them. There you go. There's a lot of a lot of curveballs. So but um yeah, it uh you want to talk about growing up and um um you know the uh uh stuff that I went through and my uh my addiction, I had a sex addiction. And um and uh that's uh something that uh I've been clean and healthy now and um still have men's group and had to go through a a lot of uh a lot of a lot of tears and emotion. That's how I've I've become uh more vulnerable and um open up and um have my checks and balances and uh have uh a good nucleus of people around me that um you know know my story and that uh you know that uh feel comfortable about that. Um I think the last thing that I need around me is somebody that is um not uh a strong person and and knows knows uh knows what I should and shouldn't be doing. So I carry a coin in my pocket that uh Oh you do? Yeah, my my sobriety coin. So I keep that in my pocket everywhere I go and it's another little another little reminder of all of that. So all of that's in in the book and a a lot more, a lot of baseball as well. So um yeah, if you get a chance, you should uh Yes, I would love to.

SPEAKER_01 42:15

So last question if your grandchildren Google you someday, what do you want them to read about?

SPEAKER_02 42:22

That's right. It's it's funny. I just heard this uh recently is um I think it might have been at the Winter Olympics. Somebody was saying um uh before Google or after Google, because uh Google was never around when we were growing up, so that's how he relates to the age gaps. So um, so grandbabies would be before Google. And um, you know what, I I really want them to I think they'll get a lot out of the book and um see the person that I've become. Um not the not not the person I was. Uh I I I want uh I want to be remembered as uh somebody that uh got help when they needed it. And there's help out there. Um in many different ways, shapes, forms. Um I know somebody just passed away recently and um they they killed themselves. Um and uh it's it's something where there is help out there. So it's tough to to to say that you need help. And it's not a bad thing to have people around you that to kind of push you in that direction. It might not be uh an easy discussion to have, but it's it's it could be an important one. So know that uh uh there is help out there. And uh just want to be remembered as somebody that is open and honest.

SPEAKER_01 43:38

Yep, I love it. Well, thank you so much, Brett. It was wonderful. Thanks for watching the show. If you have any questions for me or you want any more information, go to kimalexis.com